The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Surivive and Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
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- Create Date：2021-05-15 10:55:45
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Elaine N. Aron
- ISBN：0008244308
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Summary
Are you an HSP？ Are you easily overwhelmed by stimuli？ Affected by other people's moods？ Easily startled？ Do you need to withdraw during busy times to a private， quiet place？ Do you get nervous or shaky if someone is observing you or competing with you？ HSP， shorthand for "highly sensitive person，" describes 15 to 20 percent of the population。 Being sensitive is a normal trait--nothing defective about it。 But you may not realize that， because society rewards the outgoing personality and treats shyness and sensitivity as something to be overcome。 According to author Elaine Aron （herself an HSP）， sensitive people have the unusual ability to sense subtleties， spot or avoid errors， concentrate deeply， and delve deeply。 This book helps HSPs to understand themselves and their sensitive trait and its impact on personal history， career， relationships， and inner life。 The book offers advice for typical problems。 For example， you learn strategies for coping with overarousal， overcoming social discomfort， being in love relationships， managing job challenges， and much more。 The author covers a lot of material clearly， in an approachable style， using case studies， self-tests， and exercises to bring the information home。 The book is essential for you if you are an HSP--you'll learn a lot about yourself。 It's also useful for people in a relationship with an HSP。 --Joan Price
Reviews
Kjersti
，
This was a fascinating book because the more I read it the more I realized I am a Highly Sensitive Person！ How nice to hear that I’m not alone in some of these characteristics that can feel very overwhelming at times。 It definitely left me wanting to learn more and I see the author has written companion books for being HSP parent and HSP in love， so I plan to check those out。 My two main criticisms were 1） I wanted more specific strategies for living and 2） I wish it were updated on technology， This was a fascinating book because the more I read it the more I realized I am a Highly Sensitive Person！ How nice to hear that I’m not alone in some of these characteristics that can feel very overwhelming at times。 It definitely left me wanting to learn more and I see the author has written companion books for being HSP parent and HSP in love， so I plan to check those out。 My two main criticisms were 1） I wanted more specific strategies for living and 2） I wish it were updated on technology， it did not mention the internet or social media which was surprising to me。 I actually read this on my phone bc my library only had an electronic copy。 I see the author updated parts of it with Authors Notes for 2020 but alas no internet mentions。 At one point in the book she even talks about setting a challenge for yourself to set up a vcr， which I got a kick out of。 Nowadays it would be setup a Hulu， or Fire Stick， or whatever。 But I got the major points from the book and did some of the introspective exercises which were helpful。 。。。more
Callie Fenby
，
I definitely would identify as a HSP， but didn’t really find this book as enlightening as I would have liked。 I really disliked the narrator on Audible， so I know that didn’t help matters。 Most of the information seemed like it should be common knowledge， I guess I was hoping for some deeper content （I guess that’s the HSP in me 😏）！
sofiazee
，
Ditched the book after about 30% in。 I started the book as I was curious about Highly Sensitive Person after listening to some personal psychology podcasts。 I wanted to know more about HSP， and how it differs from introversion。 In fact， Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking is one of my favourite books。 I expected this HSP book to be of similar style - strongly supported by scientific evidence， mix in with some personal anecdotes， and providing some self-help tips for Ditched the book after about 30% in。 I started the book as I was curious about Highly Sensitive Person after listening to some personal psychology podcasts。 I wanted to know more about HSP， and how it differs from introversion。 In fact， Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking is one of my favourite books。 I expected this HSP book to be of similar style - strongly supported by scientific evidence， mix in with some personal anecdotes， and providing some self-help tips for persons with that trait。This HSP book， however， really gets on my nerves。 First and foremost， I can't see how the HSP trait is novel。 I personally think the quiz is not very accurate。 According to the quiz I am an HSP （70+ points）， but most of those relates to my introversion。 Some of the questions also overlap with other health conditions such as mood disorders， borderline personality disorder， and autism。 Another reviewer also pointed out that many physical conditions can bring out HSP-like traits such as electrolyte imbalance and hyperthyroidism。 If so， then I think it is dangerous to use "I'm an HSP" to normalise these manageable medical conditions。（Also， the quiz does not bode well in the pandemic。 Most of us are stuck at home and there is less environmental stimulation！）Secondly， there was not much scientific back-up to the facts that she wrote。 In fact， there were more personal anecdotes than science。 As someone with a medical background and knowledge on scientific research methods， this really drives me crazy。 A comforting book for those who can relate definitely， but not an objective source to get your facts。All in all， this is suitable for those who are seeking acknowledgement and self-help from other people with similar traits。 If you're like me who's looking to learn about HSP objectively， though， this is not the book for you。 。。。more
Ryan
，
Probably closer to a 4。5。 I listened to the audiobook。 Dang， this topic resonates。 If you suspect you fall into the HSP category， definitely give this book a read。
Claire
，
My psychiatrist recommended this one。 I am definitely a Highly Sensitive Person， but I didn't find the book that helpful。 It talked too much about childhood trauma creating the HSP， when that isn't true at all for lots of people。 There's no use looking at your past to blame for why you're an HSP。 I would much rather read tips for living happily as an HSP and dealing with misophonia/sensory processing issues。 DNF @ 65%。 My psychiatrist recommended this one。 I am definitely a Highly Sensitive Person， but I didn't find the book that helpful。 It talked too much about childhood trauma creating the HSP， when that isn't true at all for lots of people。 There's no use looking at your past to blame for why you're an HSP。 I would much rather read tips for living happily as an HSP and dealing with misophonia/sensory processing issues。 DNF @ 65%。 。。。more
Rachel
，
I admittedly skipped a lot of the parts that didn’t feel applicable- what did resonate with me was pretty informative （and I actually got the most out of the new intro written for the 25th year anniversary edition）
Irene Oore
，
A somewhat slow read though worthwhile。 Yields many insights and some pragmatic and helpful advice
Veve
，
I had much higher expectations and was really disappointed while reading。 I personaly think that the book is more about the author herself rather than anything else。 The references are weak， lots of assumptions and many information taken out of the context - again， my expectations were higher， since the book is written by academic。 The extroverted HSP almost completely skipped。 Chapters about relationships and career are misleading - again， it’s the authors assumptions rather than proper researc I had much higher expectations and was really disappointed while reading。 I personaly think that the book is more about the author herself rather than anything else。 The references are weak， lots of assumptions and many information taken out of the context - again， my expectations were higher， since the book is written by academic。 The extroverted HSP almost completely skipped。 Chapters about relationships and career are misleading - again， it’s the authors assumptions rather than proper research。 The most helpful thing is the HSP selftest right at the beginning of the book。 I recommend to look for more scientifical material， if you really want to learn more about the trait。 If you do not have the access through your library or institution， you can try sci-hub - it's a Chrome extension。 。。。more
denise
，
This is me！！ I'm so happy I found this book。 A definite reread！ This is me！！ I'm so happy I found this book。 A definite reread！ 。。。more
Lisa Trinh
，
Het begin van het boek was prima， het einde was。。。 weird。 Ik had gehoopt dat ik meer uit dit boek zou halen dan de andere van Aron， maar het was essentially the same， surprise surprise。
Lily
，
I vacillated quite a bit while reading this book。 Overall， I think it is a good read for anyone to get insights into the sensitive person。 Too long have sensitive individuals been labeled as shy， uncooperative， dull， dumb， stuck-up， etc。 -- those labels given because of another's lack of understanding or research。 Mrs。 Aron has a PhD in psychology and has written and lectured quite a long time。 This edition of her book was updated in 2020 with a lengthy preface explaining that a lot has been di I vacillated quite a bit while reading this book。 Overall， I think it is a good read for anyone to get insights into the sensitive person。 Too long have sensitive individuals been labeled as shy， uncooperative， dull， dumb， stuck-up， etc。 -- those labels given because of another's lack of understanding or research。 Mrs。 Aron has a PhD in psychology and has written and lectured quite a long time。 This edition of her book was updated in 2020 with a lengthy preface explaining that a lot has been discovered and some things debunked since her first edition in 1996。 She labels herself as HSP （highly sensitive person）， so some of her research and understanding is personal。 I can see a lot of myself in her explanations， and how I have learned to cope and sidestep or compensate in difficult situations for me。 "An HSP has to remove himself from overwhelming situations。" She gives ideas （tidbits） for readers--from things like diet， exercise， medication， meditating， psychotherapy， vacationing， removing oneself from overwhelming situations， and reading self-help books （she says books like hers may be all that a person needs）。 She basically says we need to be a well-rounded person even if that means getting out of our comfort zone at times。 She refers to Carl Jung quite a bit as the type of psychology that is helpful。 She warns of professionals like doctors who don't want to deal or don't understand a sensitive person， and of psychiatrists that are harmful， and of therapists that are not helpful。 She also warns of being subjugated to those we see as enlightened， charismatic， or overly aggressive。 She does cover how bad childhoods can contribute to a HSP having major trouble in life， but so does a good childhood not predispose one to be able to cope with his HSP。 Also， a bad childhood does not mean one cannot be and HSP and healthy across the board。 Some of those kind of conclusions were a little dizzying to my thinking， but that is how psychiatrists are :） My conclusion is that Mrs。 Aron is a highly trained professional， but also a human being with her own prejudices and thoughts。 I can take or leave what advice she gives。 I can think for myself--which what a sensitive person does--reasoning within oneself， taking all the variables and making decisions。 I also agree that a lot of people are not being treated properly by society， professionals， and the like because of their lack of understanding， training， or caring。 So many are just put on medication （as she attests to）， which can become addictive making an anxious or depressed person worse。 She has a website that may be useful。 。。。more
Jessica
，
Probably 3。5/4 stars A friend recommended it to me bc we were discussing how she’s highly sensitive and I had some traits also。 I think my middle son actually fits this to a T， so I’m reading the HS child next。 I’m not sure I fit all these things she talked about， though。 I’ve also been told to read some books about being gifted bc the high sensitivity I seem to have goes with the gifted mind。 Might be interesting。It had good info （I’m surprised it was well researched until this author）， but I f Probably 3。5/4 stars A friend recommended it to me bc we were discussing how she’s highly sensitive and I had some traits also。 I think my middle son actually fits this to a T， so I’m reading the HS child next。 I’m not sure I fit all these things she talked about， though。 I’ve also been told to read some books about being gifted bc the high sensitivity I seem to have goes with the gifted mind。 Might be interesting。It had good info （I’m surprised it was well researched until this author）， but I found myself getting a little bored at some parts。 Hoping the child book keeps me more interested since it should give me some insight and techniques to help my son。 Good info overall but probably only an appealing book of you are highly sensitive or are married to someone who is。 。。。more
Megan
，
Ehhh。 I think there are some very valuable observations in this book。 I wish it were more grounded in neuroscience。 There's a bit of that， but it was a little too theoretical/abstract。 I definitely think she's on to something and has tied together a lot of loose ends。 I absolutely saw myself in her description of a highly sensitive person， so I might come back to this。 Just didn't feel the need to finish， as I got the gist after a few chapters。 I think she could have said everything more succinc Ehhh。 I think there are some very valuable observations in this book。 I wish it were more grounded in neuroscience。 There's a bit of that， but it was a little too theoretical/abstract。 I definitely think she's on to something and has tied together a lot of loose ends。 I absolutely saw myself in her description of a highly sensitive person， so I might come back to this。 Just didn't feel the need to finish， as I got the gist after a few chapters。 I think she could have said everything more succinctly。 。。。more
Eitan
，
Terrible。 Couldn't read past the first chapter。 Absolutely abysmal writing， scientifically incoherent。 Trying to make a feel good novel rather than engaging with the issues the book is titled to address。 Terrible。 Couldn't read past the first chapter。 Absolutely abysmal writing， scientifically incoherent。 Trying to make a feel good novel rather than engaging with the issues the book is titled to address。 。。。more
Amanda Hart
，
Interesting read！ Practical exercises to explore sensitivity and while it looks into an array of methods for living with sensitivity， it leans heavily on psychology as the preferred method of finding balance and harmony。
Ghazal miqari
，
بوصفي شخصية مفرطة الحساسية جذبني عنوان هذا الكتاب، لأنني كنت أعلم يقيناً أننا فئة يُنظر لها على أننا "حسّاسين زيادة"。وبدايةً هذه النظرة صحيحة وخاطئة في آن واحدأولاً : فكونك شخص انطوائي يعني أنك تنظر إلى الداخل وتهتم بالجوهر وهو الذات ،بدلاً من أن تنظر إلى الخارج تجاه الأشياء، فالانطواء ينبع من الحاجة و الرغبة في حماية الجوانب الداخلية "الجوهرية" في الحياة وتقديرها بصورة أكبر ،خاصة الحفاظ عليها من التأثر بالعالم الخارجيثانيا : حاجتنا الماسة إلى العزلة لبعض الوقت عند حصولنا على مؤثرات خارجية بشكل بوصفي شخصية مفرطة الحساسية جذبني عنوان هذا الكتاب، لأنني كنت أعلم يقيناً أننا فئة يُنظر لها على أننا "حسّاسين زيادة"。وبدايةً هذه النظرة صحيحة وخاطئة في آن واحدأولاً : فكونك شخص انطوائي يعني أنك تنظر إلى الداخل وتهتم بالجوهر وهو الذات ،بدلاً من أن تنظر إلى الخارج تجاه الأشياء، فالانطواء ينبع من الحاجة و الرغبة في حماية الجوانب الداخلية "الجوهرية" في الحياة وتقديرها بصورة أكبر ،خاصة الحفاظ عليها من التأثر بالعالم الخارجيثانيا : حاجتنا الماسة إلى العزلة لبعض الوقت عند حصولنا على مؤثرات خارجية بشكل يفوق طاقتنا، فذلك يؤدي لاجهادنا و حتى نصبح عرضة للامراض بشكل أكبرثالثاً : وفقاً لدراسة أعدتها الدكتورة مؤلفة الكتاب في إحدى اجتماعاتها بأشخاص مفرطي الحساسية لاحظت الهدوء الذي عمّ المكان حيث أن الهدوء من باب الانصات كان سيكون من باب الأدب ولكنه كان صمت مطبق، بالاضافة لما لاحظته هو الانتباه المهذب من جانبهم اتجاهها ،فنحن أشخاص نميل إلى الاهتمام بالأفكار بشكل أكبر ونفكر في كل مفهوم وفي كل الاحتمالات المحيطة بناوأخيراً : لا يسعني إلا تأكيد مدى أهمية الانطوائين، فهم أمثلة حية تثبت أن هذا العالم الثري والمتنوع وهذه الحياة الغامرة والمثيرة ليست حياة خارجية فقط ولكن هنالك حياة داخلية أيضاً 。。。more
autumnatopoeia
，
This book was scary accurate， in many ways。。。 I learned some new things about myself and confirmed other things I already knew。 Even if you aren't an HSP， I'd recommend this to you， because most likely you know， or live with， one。 This book was scary accurate， in many ways。。。 I learned some new things about myself and confirmed other things I already knew。 Even if you aren't an HSP， I'd recommend this to you， because most likely you know， or live with， one。 。。。more
Amanda
，
As someone who has known that I was an HSP forever， this book was super eyeopening and helpful to read。 It helped me feel good about things I already knew and also taught me a ton about myself in the process。 I think anyone who is highly sensitive should read it and even family or friends or loved ones of HSPS would benefit from reading this book。
Megan
，
Just not written in a way I find easy or pleasant to read。There are a lot of case studies or examples of people in this book that I find REALLY annoying。 “The case of Bob who couldn‘t look anyone in the eye and how they overcame thier situation。“ That type of thing。 I don’t know why， but I am the type of person who just wants a scientific understanding of the topic and some helpful information or suggestions afterward。 I felt like I had to hunt and peck my way through the entire book to find the Just not written in a way I find easy or pleasant to read。There are a lot of case studies or examples of people in this book that I find REALLY annoying。 “The case of Bob who couldn‘t look anyone in the eye and how they overcame thier situation。“ That type of thing。 I don’t know why， but I am the type of person who just wants a scientific understanding of the topic and some helpful information or suggestions afterward。 I felt like I had to hunt and peck my way through the entire book to find the useful stuff。 I do， however find the topic very interesting， but I wasn’t fond of this particular book at all。 。。。more
Ola Al-Mokadem
，
لأول مرة أتجاوز فصلًا كاملًا في كتاب، الفصول الأخيرة كانت مملة للغاية。
Beth
，
This book was life-changing and dare I say life-saving。 My whole life I thought the trait of being overly sensitive was a liability。 But backed by science and research， Elaine N。 Aron actually posits why being a highly sensitive person can be a positive trait。 I recommend this for all people who consider their sensitivity to be a negative trait as well as the people who love them。
Danielle Williamson
，
Helpful and some great tidbits！ Sometimes a bit wordy。
Dietra
，
I started with the Highly Sensitive Child。 Found out that I was highly sensitive but that book wasn't very helpful for my son。 I decided to get this one for myself and it's so dead on。 I'll be having my husband read it to hopefully help his understanding。 I started with the Highly Sensitive Child。 Found out that I was highly sensitive but that book wasn't very helpful for my son。 I decided to get this one for myself and it's so dead on。 I'll be having my husband read it to hopefully help his understanding。 。。。more
Mimelia
，
Really interesting if you're an HP。 A bit old tho。 Really interesting if you're an HP。 A bit old tho。 。。。more
Clairetaylor
，
I related a lot to the Highly Sensitive person theme and at times literally felt like I was reading about how I experience life。 But honestly I just found the style of writing boring and depressing。 Some of the chapters were a struggle to get through。This topic of sensitive people is really really interesting though and a topic that could help people understand themselves more。 But I don’t want to read about it from this book， having to sift for the good/useful bits。
Tine
，
It’s both amazing and scary how this can hit too close to home。
Edie Maas
，
Sought out the book after coming across Aron's blog and being deeply impressed by her perspective and voice。 Was not disappointed。 Listened to the audiobook narrated by Barbara Caruso which had the added effect of making me imagine Elaine Aron as a loving Julie Andrews type governess figure， which was weirdly comforting。 As a pretty extreme HSP this book has been deeply impactful and immediately helpful。 I often found myself yelling "Yes！ This！！" or laughing out loud in recognition - in some ins Sought out the book after coming across Aron's blog and being deeply impressed by her perspective and voice。 Was not disappointed。 Listened to the audiobook narrated by Barbara Caruso which had the added effect of making me imagine Elaine Aron as a loving Julie Andrews type governess figure， which was weirdly comforting。 As a pretty extreme HSP this book has been deeply impactful and immediately helpful。 I often found myself yelling "Yes！ This！！" or laughing out loud in recognition - in some instances for the first time。 I have found an unanticipated amount of perspective， reassurance， and concrete applicable solutions， and little to no pap or filler。 As thoughtful， nuanced， intelligent and conscientious a book as befits an HSP。 Will re-read。 。。。more
Katie
，
so many things that were interesting！ deffo one to re-read as life changes
Mona Azadkia
，
The beginning of the book is very interesting as it goes to the studies of the authors with HSPs and gives different examples to show the common traits。 Then it becomes too wordy and toward the end suspiciously sketchy without that much support for what being said。
Nina
，